The Glory of a Moment I Didn’t Want to Have

Today I took my 3 little kids to the park. It wasn’t out of a super fun mom space that this little adventure occurred, I had to be out of my house for an hour and a half and Target only took up 30 minutes of it. So I was stuck. They were begging to go. I wanted to say no. But I said yes and begrudgingly took my sleeping 2 year old in the stroller and my very excited 4 and 6 year old to the park. I walked the 2 blocks to the playground and set the big kids loose, then I went to find a bench. I didn’t plan on staying long. As I sat down, I suddenly longed to cuddle my sleeping 2 year old. This is odd because she is a permanent fixture on my hip. She never, ever, leaves my side. I should have rejoiced at the free moment! But I scooped her up out of the stroller, she stirred and I froze! Ah. She calmed back down and stayed asleep. HaHa success!! I sat on the bench and held her in the shade on a sunny day with a light breeze blowing her wild curls. I looked up at my big kids both sitting at the top of the slide, talking about monkeys or something, and time froze.

This moment, the moments other moms talk about. The moments I am too hurried to see most of the time. I panicked a little and wondered why I was sitting down and not scheduling appointments or fixing something. But then something happened, something small and wise, I didn’t move at all. Something told me to sit and absorb this moment, for it will disappear in just a second. I quietly smiled about how well my big kids played together and I drew my little one in for a quick head smell and kiss on the cheek. Then it was done. The moment had passed and suddenly time was rushing again. Now the moment was just a memory and I hope I remember it, but I might not. The big things are usually remembered, births, first steps, those things…..Yet it is these details that make the big moments important. Now am I telling you to savor every moment? No. You can’t.

While raising little kids, some days you’re just trying not to cry or explode. That’s ok. But when something old and wise in you nudges you to notice, slow down, just for a second and take in the glory of your life.

Kelly Losey is an experienced and professional birth and postpartum doula in the South Bay. She recently relocated here from Northern California with her husband and 3 young children. She was raised in Redondo Beach and is glad to be back. She is currently continuing her training to become a bereavement doula. Through it all, Kelly has a heart for women, especially those who are mothers or desire to be mothers and young families. Learn more here.